Tonight it occurred to me that it really isn’t so much about trusting other people that is the problem. At least, it isn’t the core problem.
We all know that humans are fallible. We all know that the heart of mankind is fickle and “prone to stray” as the old hymn goes. Jesus knew this too. John 2 clearly states, from the beginning of Jesus’ ministry, how he did not trust those around him. Yet he also opened himself up to them. Did he not already know at his last Passover who would betray him? Did he not share that Last Supper, that first offering of his blood and body, with the man who would so shortly sell him out and with one who would deny him so vehemently? Did he not wash the feet of all the men who pledged their lives to follow him yet who ran away from his suffering and death? Did he not pass his life in the midst of such frail, untrustworthy men?
Yes, he did. Jesus showed us what it cost to trust humans. It will cost grief and heart-ache. Yet he still wants us to trust. He knows we need each other. Jesus prayed right before he suffered and died that we – his friends and siblings – would be one with him just as he is one with the Father (John 17). This unity of spirit is a pervasive theme in the New Testament. It is not a singular person being unified with Christ, though that is hoped for. Rather it is the body of all believers being united with each other and thus united with Christ as one. The Bride united with the Bridegroom.
Jesus, being God, knew what was in the heart of man. We do too. But unlike Jesus, WE possess that untrustworthy, sinful heart. Jesus was without sin. He lived a righteous life. Yes, he was tempted in every way, yet HE did not sin. We have. All of us. It is just this knowledge of our own sinfulness that keeps us from trusting. Because we don’t trust ourselves.
I realized tonight that the question is really about me not others. I don’t trust myself. Yes, others have hurt me, but the real damage has come from when I have trusted when I should not have. When I believed in something or someone who should not have been believed. We know that others will fail us. The problem comes when we trust even when we see warning signs.
A verse I quote often is “Be as wise as serpents and as innocent as doves.” This is what Jesus told his disciples as they were sent out into the world. We need to be shrewd and knowledgeable, yet we must also be innocent of guile and deception ourselves. The balance is incredibly difficult.
This is exactly why the body of Christ is so critical. We are often blinded by our emotions or personal desires. We see only what we hope or want to see. We, especially women, sugar coat a situation to the point that we delude ourselves into believing a lie. I know. I’ve been there. What keeps us from that is having people around us who speak into our intimate lives. People who we have opened ourselves up to and with whom we share a mutual accountability. In short, we need people we can trust. Without these people in our lives and a commitment to honesty, we will be deluded. We will believe a lie. We will put ourselves in a place of betrayal.
Jesus did this. He intentionally put himself in a place of betrayal. It was not out of ignorance or gullibility that Jesus was betrayed to the Jews. Hardly! It was part of God’s plan to save humanity from itself. For us, it is far too often through our own sinful desires that we put ourselves in a position to be betrayed. Fortunately God always uses those occasions for our good and the good of others when we submit them to him. Always.
Think of Joseph, who through his own braggadocio, ended up sold into slavery. Yes, God had a plan all along to use Joseph. But it may have come in a different way if he had not been so boastful and arrogant. God used Joseph’s betrayal and brought humility as well as the power to save his people.
Think of Moses who so strongly felt a sense of destiny that he murdered a man in his haste to free his people. That murder, rather than prompting fealty from the people, caused distrust and fear. It took another 40 years of hiding and learning humility before God called Moses to the purpose he was intended from birth.
Lack of trust is not anything new. From the very beginning of mankind, we have not trusted. The fact that the first betrayal of trust was us betraying God means that it is something long-standing in our DNA. Yet, this is just why Jesus came! He came so that we would have the authority, the right to be called children of God (John 1:12). As God’s children we bear his name and his presence within us, breaking the bondage to sin and betrayal.
So what we need to consider is who we are in Christ. Are we truly God’s children, co-heirs with Christ? Are we owning our rights and authority as a child of God? Are we living in unity with other believers, other adoptees? If we are, then we can trust God to manage the betrayals that happen. Because they will happen. (Luke 12) If we are not doing these things, then we need to acknowledge our responsibility, ask forgiveness and move on.
A critical piece of betrayal is to acknowledge what is our sin and to know what is not. We cannot assume responsibility and guilt for things that we did not do. Job‘s friends were continually telling him his sins, yet it was only when God spoke that Job repented of his true sins. Job was betrayed by his friends, confronted with his real sin by God and freed from oppression by forgiving those who had sinned against him.
Betrayal is inevitable this side of heaven. Despite how harsh that sounds, God provides something greater for us. It now becomes a question of whether we truly trust God. Do we trust God to bring us through betrayal to humility. into forgiveness and fulfillment? Are we willing to be vulnerable? Are we willing to go through the pain in order to get to the joy of resurrection?
Do we trust…God?
