I am about to ask a very stupid question. It’s stupid because I should know the answer. Actually, I’m pretty sure I do know the answer but it is still a question that baffles me.
Why do people help me? Why do people give to me and the mission?
On a spiritual level, I understand that those who give and help are doing it out of their love for Christ. They love me, support me because they love him. God has spoken and they are simply being obedient to God’s promptings. I get that! It’s why I do what I do. I love God. He loves people. So I love people too. It’s simple.
Yet it isn’t simple for those of us who don’t expect people to love, help or give to us. We are always looking for a reason why people do anything for us.
Over the last two years, however, I have been incredibly blessed (and surprised) by people supporting me. Today I was especially blessed. These blessings were simple but incredibly meaningful.
Recently I was able to tell my story and the story of the neighborhood to a men’s small group from my old church. God prompted their hearts to help. They specialize in projects, so they lent a hand checking my electrical and installing a light fixture, all the while listening to my vision for the neighborhood. They came back today and installed a wireless doorbell and intercom, a product I’m sure was not cheap. I will now be able to know when someone is at my door and talk with them if I can’t come downstairs immediately. This will be a HUGE help! I know that I have missed more than one neighbor knocking because I didn’t hear them. This simple thing thrills me to my toes!
Another friend, a long time supporter but not a person of means by any stretch of the imagination, heard how sick I’ve been and how I couldn’t afford to go to the doctor. (You get sick -> miss work -> don’t have income -> can’t afford a doctor bill. Vicious cycle). She calls up her doctor friend, arranges a discount and then pays for the bill. This is a huge gift! Talk about God caring for me through my friend!
But when I think about why these and others are so generous, I’m still baffled. This befuddlement stems from those pesky childhood issues recently discussed.
Why me? Why would anyone care about ME?
When said that way, in its purest and most honest form, it is quite revealing. Why would anyone care about me? Others haven’t. In saying this I know I need to forgive again because I feel the sorrow in those words. And…the sting is gone. (Ah. Forgiveness is so freeing!) Yet the residual effects of my abandonment are still felt. It still has impact on my thinking. So I ask again, why would anyone care for me?
They care because God cares. It goes back to God’s “just cuz” love. He just does, and he’s wanting to show that love to me – yes, even me! – in very tangible ways. When I thanked my friend for the doctor bill, she said, “You know the source of every good thing however indirect it comes.”
A doorbell and intercom. A doctor’s bill and cheap medicine. A discount on car repairs. Clothes for seemingly no reason. Monthly support checks. Surprise support. A dinner. A book. A hug.
Just ‘cuz.
Recognizing why I feel so baffled helps, but it will take continual work to make accepting these gifts a bit more natural for me. I don’t think I will ever take people’s generosity toward me for granted. (If I do, you have permission to beat me over the head). But I do think a daughter should not be so surprised when her Dad gives her a gift or shows his love for her. God as my Father is wanting to do just that, especially through his other children.
So in light of my identity as God’s daughter, the question shouldn’t be why, but why not?
